Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
