If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize