big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
