umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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