There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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