Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
