Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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