those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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