Who wears a wallet chain?!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were trust falling into bushes
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
