My sheets look like a crime scene.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
