Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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