I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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