I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
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He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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