2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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