Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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