My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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