Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
