i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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