so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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