Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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