If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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