nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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