Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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