Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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