i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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