a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
