STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
