This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
