I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
