She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
