evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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