I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
