his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
