Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
