Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
