Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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