the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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