either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
