piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.