Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
