I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED