Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize