Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize