What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
