can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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