And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
