Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.

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  (541): Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour. http://tfl.nu/t7z3
  Replies (23) Good night (692) Bad night (2739)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

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  (214): You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song http://tfl.nu/2x4f
  Replies (25) Good night (9966) Bad night (1078)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

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  (703): you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle http://tfl.nu/qvl1
  Replies (16) Good night (1280) Bad night (4045)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

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  (843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome? http://tfl.nu/1lt0
  Replies (23) Good night (1553) Bad night (7094)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.

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  (+61): we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry. http://tfl.nu/qm28
  Replies (9) Good night (4859) Bad night (1408)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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  (503): Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian http://tfl.nu/9eu3
  Replies (30) Good night (7001) Bad night (2989)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

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  (781): Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge? http://tfl.nu/a35e
  Replies (1) Good night (1530) Bad night (627)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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  (206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1265) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.

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  (443): I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon. http://tfl.nu/atl9
  Replies (10) Good night (2102) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It happened again.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.

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  (651): It happened again. (612): What? (651): I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now. http://tfl.nu/fx7i
  Replies (8) Good night (1935) Bad night (589)
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  (714): View more from California

  wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man

  (1-714): View more from California

  you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife

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  (714): wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man (1-714): you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife http://tfl.nu/week
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts

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  (203): i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts http://tfl.nu/1fmb
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.

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  (314): Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks. http://tfl.nu/ddm7
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys

  (703): View more from Virginia

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (334): I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys (703): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/zqx5
  Replies (1) Good night (1129) Bad night (495)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.

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  (712): My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain. http://tfl.nu/1h8o
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (440)

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