kristin has been a bad kristin
Only a mothe r could love this liver
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger