Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

(1-857): View more from Massachusetts

Doors?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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(857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r

Replies (6) Good night (2195) Bad night (778)
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(410): View more from Maryland

it was a mass text i'm sorry

(603): View more from New Hampshire

do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?

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(410): it was a mass text i'm sorry (603): do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text? http://tfl.nu/ja5x

Replies (18) Good night (3862) Bad night (1102)
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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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(248): my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you' http://tfl.nu/ael6

Replies (25) Good night (2679) Bad night (5569)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

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(630): She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xep7

Replies (41) Good night (18188) Bad night (1165)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

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(814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou

Replies (16) Good night (3890) Bad night (1085)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.

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(307): Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory. http://tfl.nu/grsq

Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (653)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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(970): I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vise

Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (3185)
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(253): View more from Washington

I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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(253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej

Replies (11) Good night (1057) Bad night (558)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule

Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (1227)
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(802): View more from Vermont

You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers

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(802): You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers http://tfl.nu/tkru

Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (321)
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(470): View more from Georgia

My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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(470): My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time. http://tfl.nu/utoz

Replies (6) Good night (1502) Bad night (379)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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(405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp

Replies (6) Good night (901) Bad night (263)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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(787): Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow http://tfl.nu/puo2

Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (273)
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(276): View more from Virginia

I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.

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(276): I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best. http://tfl.nu/o1z6

Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (135)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.

(443): View more from Maryland

Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.

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(410): Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me. (443): Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life. http://tfl.nu/8aep

Replies (5) Good night (616) Bad night (298)

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