Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.

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  (336): I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/wwtn
  Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (1289)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo

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  (413): Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo http://tfl.nu/r8i0
  Replies (9) Good night (752) Bad night (2378)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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  (440): It looked like if robin williams had a vagina http://tfl.nu/jvnv
  Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (2722)
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  (831): View more from California

  I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

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  (831): I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines. (1-831): Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/f2l0
  Replies (15) Good night (3376) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (12496) Bad night (1551)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.

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  (253): I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you. http://tfl.nu/clvu
  Replies (17) Good night (2650) Bad night (695)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.

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  (602): either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing. http://tfl.nu/e07a
  Replies (21) Good night (6511) Bad night (597)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

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  (303): I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cell
  Replies (41) Good night (837) Bad night (6386)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.

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  (540): Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply. http://tfl.nu/723h
  Replies (20) Good night (5272) Bad night (1005)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

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  (248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky http://tfl.nu/6tb5
  Replies (22) Good night (8719) Bad night (1317)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...

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  (517): I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall... http://tfl.nu/myki
  Replies (18) Good night (9924) Bad night (2164)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.

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  (607): I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex. http://tfl.nu/9fy5
  Replies (14) Good night (4348) Bad night (824)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.

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  (808): Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned. http://tfl.nu/vl4n
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

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  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Spopky scrzy skeletonssz

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  (615): I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET. (865): Spopky scrzy skeletonssz http://tfl.nu/c8hh
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (304)

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