Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (1240) Bad night (2714)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?

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  (239): Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song? http://tfl.nu/r0ur
  Replies (5) Good night (2921) Bad night (688)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj

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  (617): anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj http://tfl.nu/74ok
  Replies (76) Good night (6755) Bad night (809)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout

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  (612): So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout http://tfl.nu/u300
  Replies (6) Good night (2566) Bad night (1078)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you

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  (717): When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you http://tfl.nu/09i6
  Replies (3) Good night (2967) Bad night (1564)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

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  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (7126) Bad night (1152)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a normal friday night

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  (443): Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan. (410): Sounds like a normal friday night http://tfl.nu/c2vx
  Replies (2) Good night (2024) Bad night (939)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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  (601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj
  Replies (7) Good night (1506) Bad night (1732)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

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  (407): Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless. http://tfl.nu/zvko
  Replies (5) Good night (1503) Bad night (805)
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  (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

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  (516): yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye... http://tfl.nu/3it0
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (511)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...

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  (561): You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day... http://tfl.nu/6lgs
  Replies (20) Good night (4245) Bad night (601)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.

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  (479): I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me. http://tfl.nu/04w2
  Replies (9) Good night (563) Bad night (1254)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (940)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?

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  (614): So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes? http://tfl.nu/y2f0
  Replies (8) Good night (907) Bad night (306)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.

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  (602): "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/6e83
  Replies (0) Good night (222) Bad night (421)

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