i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
