it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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