Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
