Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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