He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
