both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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