I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
