All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
