New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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