Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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