Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
